Unfair Pain
by The Lucky Bell
Summary: The GoM recently found out that Akashi has a rare disease that had been killing him for most of his life. How will each feel? How would Kuroko feel? Based off a picture a friend drew.


Why did it have to be like this?

Couldn't this have been different?

Could they have helped this?

Everyone wondered the same question, as they waited outside a hospital room, occupied by their deathly sick friend and their phantom.

The GoM were outside the room, wanting to give their friends some space and time to talk. After all, there wasn't much time left, they would need to say their... Goodbyes...

No one had said anything, only having their backs turned from each other so they wouldn't see each other's tears. No one bothered holding them back. Their former teammate, Akashi Seijuro, had been slowly dying all this time and he told no one until now.

There was the option that he didn't know, but they still felt betrayed. Not that he didn't tell them, but because he would be leaving them and so suddenly. They all should have seen the symptoms, it was obvious, but they all ignored it.

Momoi still remembered the time when Akashi had began overworking himself in basketball, back in their Teiko days.

~.~.~.~.~.~

"...You really shouldn't be pushing yourself like this." Momoi had said as she watched Akashi run back and forth down the court with a basketball. It was just them, as the other team members left before to do what they needed to do.

Akashi gave no reply, as if he didn't hear her, and just made a simple jump shot. After running for the ball and got it back in his hands, Momoi hesitated before walking over.

"You really should end the training for today. Everyone already left." Momoi said, trying to convince him.

"I'm fine. Do not worry about me." Akashi replied, slowly walking off while dribbling the ball. Momoi quickly followed him, walking beside him.

"I don't want you over working yourself. It's not good for your body, you're still growing." Momoi continued, not wanting the captain to end up getting sick.

"...Alright. Trust me, I'll take care of my body. I just want to make sure I'm strong enough to win. I apologize if I worried you." Akashi replied, stopped dribbling, and held the ball in his hands.

"Didn't Daiki want you for something?" Akashi asked, starting to walk over to put the ball away.

As if remembering, Momoi jumped and began to head for the gym doors. "That's right! Thank you for reminding me, I really should go see Dai-chan."

Looking back one more time, Momoi watched Akashi put the basketball back. "And make sure you take care of your body." She said, before she walked out the gym. She thought she heard the sound of dribbling, but ignored it and went to go find Aomine.

~.~.~.~.~.~

'How stupid could I have been? I should have tried harder to get him to stop...' Momoi thought to herself, as she covered her face with her hands. It was her fault, if she had convinced Akashi to stop over working himself, he wouldn't be in this situation.

Momoi opened her watery eyes, turning her head slightly to see how everyone else was. Everyone was turned away, silently crying over their former captain. Each and every single one felt the same thing. Guilt, pain, and sorrow. It wasn't fair!

Kise soon covered his eyes with one arm, trying to wipe his endless tears away. His stupid personality had let him failed at seeing Akashi's problem.

It was right in front of him, and yet he was too oblivious to see it.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~

"Akashicchi~!" Kise said loudly as he entered the gym, his voice echoing throughout the large room.

The dribbling stopped, and Akashi looked up at Kise. "Ryota, I would advice for you not to yell in the gym."

"So mean." Kise said, having fake tears go down his cheeks. He then brightened up, walking over to Akashi. Upon walking closer, he noticed Akashi looked a bit pale today.

"Is something wrong Akashicchi? You look sick." Kise said, tilting his head a bit.

"I'm fine Ryota. I'm just a bit cold, so I came in here to play basketball, to warm up." Akashi explained, before clearing his throat slightly. "Is there something you need?"

Kise just brushed off Akashi's words, smiling brightly. He had completely forgotten about how pale Akashi was that day. "Me and the team were wondering if you wanted to come out with us! We were planning to go get ice cream at the convenience store, then walk around a bit. Have fun!" He said excitedly.

Akashi seemed to have hesitated for a moment, or perhaps he was thinking. "...I'll decline your offer. I have my doctors check up today, since it's been about six months since my last one. Tell everyone I apologize for not being able to come."

Kise just pouted but nodded. He would have argued, and tried to get Akashi to come since he seemed to never have fun, but he had an appointment. "Alright.. Maybe another time then!"

Kise smiled, and waved to Akashi as he left the gym.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~

"He still never came out with us... Now he never will..." Kise whispered quietly, using his hand now to wipe at his tears.

"Did you say something Kise?" Aomine asked quietly, glancing over at him.

Kise tried brightening up, but even he realized that was rude in a situation like this. "No, Aominicchi. I didn't say anything."

Aomine just shrugged, and closed his eyes. He knew Kise was probably saying words of regret. He was too, in his mind. His greed for winning had over come his worry for his former teammates. Now look what happened, Akashi was going to die because of his mistake.

It happened during a meet up after he lost a match to Seirin. His first lost, and Akashi visited him.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~

"Daiki, May I speak with you?" Akashi asked as Aomine left the locker rooms where his team was still inside.

A bit surprised, Aomine stared for a second, before shrugging. "Whatever." He said, a bit distracted. Had he really just lost to a new basketball team? Against Tetsu? And that stupid Kagami.

Turned out Kuroko would be fine with his new light.

As Akashi walked on, Aomine reluctantly followed wondering what his former captain wanted.

"This is your first lost, isn't it, Daiki?" Akashi asked when they were further into the halls, soon exiting the building.

Aomine looked over at him, before looking away, sighing a bit. "...I guess so. What about it?"

Aomine watched as Akashi slightly held his stomach for a second, before he dropped his hand. Was he sick?

"Tetsuya is getting stronger, especially with his new light. No, all of the Seirin basketball team is getting stronger. It's only a matter of time before they beat all of us. They already beat Shintaro and Ryota." Akashi explained, not even afraid to say he would be beat.

"You? Be beat?" Aomine asked, staring a bit. This wasn't his former captain, this wasn't even the current Akashi. "Akashi, what are you saying?"

"I will still try to beat Seirin of course, but with the team getting much stronger so quickly, there might actually be a chance that they win." Akashi explained, before clearing his throat a bit loudly.

"Akashi, are you alright?" Aomine asked, slightly holding his hand out in case Akashi threw up or something.

"Of course. There was just a lump in my throat. You know how annoying they can be." He said, before straightening up. "As long as you remember our promise, then it'll be alright. No hard feelings for whoever wins the winter cups."

Aomine just watched, before slightly nodding. His irritation he felt for losing was gone, as he sighed softly. "Of course I remember. And I don't doubt that Tetsu will win, but it will be hard."

"Of course. Well, I'll take my leave now." Akashi said, as he began walking off. "Take care, Daiki. And I hope you start going to practices from now on."

Aomine stared after him, a bit confused. How did he know he skipped practices?

~.~.~.~.~.~.~

"...I'm going to go get some snacks." Murasakibara suddenly said, when Aomine came to his senses. Normally someone would tell him that it was unhealthy and rude, but they all knew he wouldn't be getting snacks.

Murasakibara slowly got up from sitting on a small chair, and began to walk off. As soon as he turned down a few halls, he stopped and leaned against a wall. "Akachin... Is really going..." He mumbled to himself.

How could he have missed it? He could still remember the day when he noticed, but just brushed it off.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~

"Akachin, why did you offer to take me to the convenience store?" Murasakibara asked lazily, as he and the red head left the store with ice creams for Murasakibara.

"I had nothing to do, and we don't talk much, do we?" Akashi asked, walking along side the giant.

"No... Thank you, though." He said, opening his box and took out a popsicle of ice cream. "Is there something you need?"

"No." Akashi replied instantly, continuing to walk. "I just wanted to spend time with my teammates, but everyone else was busy. You were the only one that really accepted my offer." He said, sighing just slightly.

"When we go out, you're the one that is usually busy." Murasakibara replied, and Akashi nodded.

"I know. I'm sorry, I was just a bit busy is all." He said before taking a deep breath. He took a few more deep breaths, catching Murasakibara's attention, though he soon stopped.

"Is Akachin okay? Does he want an ice cream?" Murasakibara asked, while Akashi shook his head. "I'm okay, just a bit tired. I don't need a popsicle. Thank you anyway."

"Alright..." Murasakibara said nothing else, just continuing to eat. He ignored Akashi's more heavy then usual breathing, as they soon parted ways when Akashi said he had to go.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Murasakibara soon came back, wiping his eyes and of course was snack-less. Midorima watched as he sat back down, before looking away. He adjusted his glasses with his taped fingers. He didn't take off his glasses, even when he was silently weeping himself.

He couldn't say he and Akashi were good... Friends, but they were good acquaintances?

He was probably the smartest among them, besides Akashi. How could he have been so idiotic?

~.~.~.~.~.~.~

When Midorima walked in the room, he noticed Akashi was playing shogi by himself again. Why did he call him in if he was busy playing shogi?

"So you finally arrived, Shintaro." Akashi said, not even glancing back.

"What did you need, Akashi?" Midorima asked, as he walked in and closed the door behind him.

"No reason in particular... Just wondering how you were doing." Akashi said slowly.

"...That's not true, is it? What did you call me in for?" Midorima asked, careful of his words.

"Ryota will be getting a uniform very soon. He is good, very good. He will soon be a regular." Akashi said, moving a piece of the shogi himself.

Midorima blinked, a bit surprised. How could he decide that so soon? "How do you know? And why are you telling me this?"

"It is obvious. Ryota is a prodigy, just as people say we are. He will be one of us soon." Akashi said, ignoring the second question.

Midorima was going to question him further, but then Akashi began to lightly cough a bit.

"Akashi? Are you alright?" Midorima asked, walking closer. He stopped when Akashi held up his hand, signalling that he didn't want him to come closer. "I am fine, Shintaro. My throat just felt a bit itchy, I apologize if I worried you." He said, as Midorima still studied him.

"Are you sure you're-"

"Shintaro, please leave. I have nothing else to talk to you about." Akashi interrupted, before he moved a few more pieces. Midorima stood for a moment, before slowly leaving the room.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Why didn't he tell anyone? He surely knew about it, right? Midorima didn't say anything, just regretting leaving that room that one day.

He could only imagine how Kuroko was doing. He knew that Akashi and Kuroko have been together for most of their Teiko days, but parted when they left for separate schools.

They were probably the closest, so that's why Akashi was spending his... Last moments with Kuroko.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~

"Tetsuya, we need to talk." Akashi said suddenly after practice.

Kuroko looked up from the basketball rack, where he had been putting the basketballs away, before walking over. "What is it, Akashi-kun?" He asked.

"This is our last year in Teiko. We will be going to high school soon." Akashi started off instantly, not bothering to take his time to explain.

"...Yes, what about it?" Kuroko asked, not liking the bad feeling inside him.

"We all can't go to the same school. We can't stay a team. We are too over powered together, and it's unfair to the other teams we play against. We will all need to go to separate schools." Akashi finished, watching for Kuroko's reaction.

Kuroko was quiet for a moment, thinking. "We won't be together anymore then." He finally said, not surprising Akashi.

"No, we won't. Not anymore." Akashi said, glad that Kuroko figured it out and he didn't have to explain it.

"Are you sure? We can't go to the same school?" Kuroko asked, a bit worried that what Akashi was saying had to be done. He honestly didn't want to leave Akashi.

"We can't Tetsuya, you know this. We weren't meant to be together anyway." He said, and he knew it would hurt Kuroko, but it needed to be done.

"What do you mean?"

"We were never meant to be. I never loved you anyway." Akashi finally said, and regretted it immediately. He loved Kuroko, he did so much, but he needed to do this. He couldn't have Kuroko hurt because of him.

Kuroko stared in surprise, before slowly shaking his head. "No... You don't need to lie. We can still be together, even if we go to different schools."

"Tetsuya, I'm not lying. Stop lying to yourself. You were just a tool for the team. You're useless now, so you just need to go to another school." Akashi said, keeping an emotionless face on the outside but on the inside, he was breaking. Literally.

"...So... All those times?" Kuroko said slowly, and Akashi just nodded. "Fake. Just go away, it's a pain to be with you any longer."

And Kuroko did go away. He didn't say another word as he left the gym quietly, hiding his eyes behind his hair. Akashi sighed heavily once Kuroko left, hating what had to be done.

~.~.~.~.~.~

When Kuroko heard that Akashi was in the hospital, he didn't hesitate to go, even if it meant leaving practice. He still loved Akashi, even when he said those hurtful words. He just felt like their was something behinds those words, that Akashi really did love him.

He quickly rushed to the hospital, wondering how this could have happened.

Cystic fibrosis.

Akashi had Cystic fibrosis. It was basically a rare disease that had tissue and organ damage, which mostly damaged the lungs and digestive system. Though it was a disease that forms over years. So all these years, Akashi had been slowly dying without telling anyone.

He finally arrived at the hospital, and asked the receptionist where Akashi's room was. Once he got the number, he took the elevator up to Akashi's floor. All the while, he couldn't believe this was happening.

Arriving at the room, he saw that all of the GoM were outside. At first they didn't notice Kuroko, but once they did, they said nothing. They just motioned to the door, silently telling him to go in.

And Kuroko did. He slowly opened the door, walking inside the hospital room. He was hit with the smell of chemicals and sickness, the usual hospital smell.

Akashi was on the bed, laying down, and awake. Probably in pain. Akashi was slowly dying, dying in pain. How unfair.

Kuroko slowly walked over to the bed, not even bothering to pull over a chair as he kneeled beside the bed. Why was this happening? This is unfair. Akashi wasn't even an adult yet, he would be dying so young...

"Tetsuya... You actually came." Akashi said softly, as if it pained to talk. Kuroko just nodded, slightly staring at him. His former captain, the one he still loved, was dying in front of him.

"How.. How are you?" Akashi asked slowly, a bit hesitantly.

"I wish I could ask you that, but I am afraid to hear the answer." Kuroko said, just as quiet.

"I'm sorry Tetsuya... I did not intend for this to happen..."

"I know..."

"..And... And I didn't mean to say those things, back in middle school.." He said slowly, knowing that this was his only chance to apologize.

Kuroko stayed quiet, and Akashi took that as a chance to go on. "The truth is... I... I really do love you. I still do. Though at the end of the year, I figured out I had this rare disease. I knew I wouldn't be able to keep it secret, and I didn't want to suddenly die on you. So... I broke up with you... and made everyone leave..."

Kuroko listened, giving Akashi the time to explain. After all, these could be his words at death. "...You should have just told us... We could have taken care of you... somehow."

Akashi slowly shook his head, before coughing a bit violently. "You... couldn't have. Even the doctors can't fix it... I'm sorry, Tetsuya. I'm sorry about everything I did to you and everyone else."

"It's okay. It's alright, I promise. Everyone forgives you, I forgive you. And it's not just because you're dying. I still love you, Akashi-kun.." He said, feeling like he was about to cry.

"...I... See." Akashi said, processing the information. "Well... At least I won't be someone you have to worry about in the Winter Cups.."

"Don't say that!" Kuroko said instantly, shaking his head. "This isn't fair... You should be able to live your life... Why..."

Kuroko just silenced himself, leaning on the bed slightly and watched Akashi. They spent a few minutes in silence, just enjoying each other's company.

Akashi then suddenly lifted his hand, placing it on Kuroko's cheek softly. "...It's about time, Tetsuya.." He said, trailing off as Kuroko slowly grabbed his hand.

Kuroko stared at him, his face now wet with tears. He didn't want Akashi to go. "Akashi-kun, please no... I beg you..."

Akashi just gave Kuroko a small smile, looking at him with sad eyes. "I'm sorry... I have to go, Tetsuya."

"Akashi-kun..." Kuroko leaned up, softly kissing Akashi's cheek. "Please don't... I love you... Please..." Tears continued to fall, some of them landing on Akashi's cheeks but he didn't mind. He just continued smiling.

"I love you too, Tetsuya.."

Kuroko stared in shock as those were the last words to leave Akashi's lips. The red head had stopped breathing slowly, the monitor for his heart rate making a loud and on going beep. The rest of the GoM quickly went inside when they heard it, and saw Kuroko burying his head into Akashi's chest, obviously crying.

Akashi was... Gone.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~

It was a week later, and none of the GoM or even Seirin had heard from Kuroko. After they left the hospital, everyone went straight home, even Kuroko.

Soon Kagami had gotten curious, and even a little worried. Where was his shadow? He didn't get the news of why Kuroko left early for practice, and ever since then, he hasn't heard from the phantom.

After school, he walked to Kuroko's house, as he has been there a few times. When he arrived, he knocked on the door, and waited for an answer. None came.

He knocked a bit louder, thinking Kuroko was upstairs and didn't hear him. He didn't know if he was outside, but he doubted it. If he didn't come to school, then he shouldn't be outside. Maybe he was sick?

Hesitating, Kagami slowly opened the door, surprised that it was unlocked. Though he closed it behind him, looking around "Kuroko?" He called out through the house, and didn't get an answer again. Even when he heard a small high pitched bark, he didn't flee. He needed to find Kuroko.

He searched the house, looking in the living room, kitchen, the bedrooms and bathrooms, everywhere. He was about to leave, walking down a hall, Nigou, Kuroko's dog, following him, before he notice a little square in the ceiling. A door to an attic?

Kagami moved around, reached up, and pulled a tiny almost not noticeable string. It opened the door, and a ladder slowly slid down. So it was an attic.

Kagami hesitated, looking up. It was a bit dark in there. What... What if there were ghosts up there? Kagami shivered, before shaking his head. He slowly began to climb the ladder, Nigou whimpering as he went up there. He remembered seeing his master go there, and he never returned.

Kagami got up to the top of the ladders, and into the attic. He coughed a bit, noticing how dusty the air was. He didn't even take another step before he heard the attic door close from behind him. He yelped in surprise, before realizing it was built to do that.

Kagami tried looking around, but it was dark. The only source of light was a small window in the side of the room, which didn't let much light in. Though the light shined on one thing. A pair of feet that weren't touching the ground, and a small paper underneath them on the floor, being held down by a small block that was made for children.

Kagami immediately began searching for a light switch, a lantern, anything. Was it a ghost? It was floating!...

Kagami's fingers finally grazed a light switch, and he immediately flipped it on. The lights didn't turn on for a second, before they flickered on.

Kagami looked over, before freezing slightly. It was no ghost... It was his shadow... Kuroko...

"K-Kuroko..." Kagami whispered out, staring at the lifeless body. Why... Why did Kuroko... Hang himself?

It was true.

Kuroko's body was only being held up by a small rope, just like what Kagami saw in the old days used to hang people who did something against the law.

His eyes were closed, his body lifeless and looked so pale. His neck showed obvious bruises, and a little blood as the rope dug into his skin. Though... Kuroko was smiling. Kuroko smiled at death, just as Akashi had in the hospital. Not that Kagami knew that.

Kagami immediately ran over, quickly loosening the rope from Kuroko's neck. Why would he do this? After getting Kuroko down after a few minutes, he pulled out his phone. But who would he call?

Then he remembered the note that was under Kuroko's feet. He slowly picked it up, and began to read it.

'Akashi-kun had been dying on the inside all this time, literally. His whole life was unfair. He died so young. He even died with a smile on his face. So... Why can't I?

I can't leave Akashi-kun. I already did, and it hurt. I'm sorry if anyone ever finds me, but what is left for me here? I understand if anyone gets mad, and I'm sorry.

You all helped me. Thank you.

But I can't leave Akashi-kun to die alone.

I'll be joining him, in a much brighter place.

After all, we aren't that much different. What did I have to live for? Our lives were unfair, so it would be even more unfair if one lived and the other died.

...Goodbye, and if you find this, I don't mind if you tell anyone.'

Kagami stared in shock at the picture. Kuroko.. Killed himself... Over Akashi?


End file.
